Boys Life

These glory days can take their toll, so catch me now before I turn to gold.

Yeah we’d love to hear your story, just as long as it tells us where we are -

that where we are is where we’re meant to be.

-Jarvis Cocker

Writing about my early twenties has me thinking a lot lately. I remember how much my life changed from 18 to around 23. At 19 I was barley able to dine in a restaurant that was not TGI Fridays. By 24 I was living on my own in New York. I didn’t have the structure of college to ease me into adult hood, or force interaction with the opposite sex. I learned my lessons falling on my face, getting up, repeating, and getting up again. I was not ready for New York until I got here. I watch my younger friends and study their negotiations of our world. How comfortable they are eating a late supper at the Bowery Hotel or shopping at a boutique in Soho. Even pretentious coffee shops that terrify me seem routine to these pioneers of the New New York. I am, at times, insanely jealous of them; to be 22 and seem to know so much. I watch them get drunk and succeed with women, a sort of blind neanderthal success, but success none the less. I watch them fail too, terrified by situations that to me seem easily negotiable. Their confidence is rousing and their insecurity is still beautiful. I respect these young men so much. My life has changed a lot the past couple years and these guys have been there for me through it all. No big emotional scenes; our friendly chats at Tompkins or filming missions on the West Side have meant the world to me. I’m more than happy to share a skate session at Astor Place, buy a round at Max Fish, or attempt to share what little wisdom I’ve accumulated with them.

I show up to James’ apartment around 9:15 with two six packs of imported beer and two bags of Haribo gummy candy. James begins cutting limes for the Coronas and stocking the mini fridge with my bounty. Kevin is on the couch lost in the new Call of Duty. I hand him a bag of gummy bears and a Corona and he gleefully exclaims that it feels like he’s at a photo shoot. Truly an Only in New York moment, it seems like a good omen. The last of the trio, Max, arrives a few minutes later. James’ roommate Josh, a reputation as a bit of a stoner, appears and rolls a joint as I set up my computer to record our conversation. Josh the roommate is purely spectating. His presence is welcomed and participation is encouraged, but he seems content to sit in his favorite chair, get high, and silently watch me attempt this rudimentary analysis. James, Kevin, and Max are on the same couch, close but comfortable.

Kevin is 22 the NY native of the bunch. Not one for college he holds a sought after retail position. Kevin is a skateboarder. Most people that really skateboard realize one day that they’ll never be a professional and in some way are forever changed by that realization. Kevin seems to have never even known that professionals exist. He skates with an energy only heard about in documentaries. Our sort of ethnic Jay Adams, Kevin is always game for Max Fish, skating midtown, or a strip club in the Bronx called Sin City, you never know where a night out with him can take you.

James is 23 an NYU graduate from the Mid West. Another devout skater, he also helps publish a literally journal and works every day on his own writing. At times he seems to approach life with the same abandon as Kevin, but often I feel like hes stocking experiences. Drinking to much and being reckless in life and love not by compulsion, but because that’s what a young writer should do? One of the most genuine and kind people I know, small town values persevere in just about everything he does.

Max, also 23, was the first member of the current LA invasion that I met. I don’t know if it was out of respect for my friendship with one of his close friends or just because he was not the kind to cow tow to an attention craving woman, I was instantly impressed by his refusal to give my ex girlfriend the kind of male attention she was looking for. When she suggested he was cocky and a bit of a dick I knew that I liked him. Another skater, he’s drifted a bit from the scene, busy with school hobbies and friends. Opinionated and headstrong at times, his tenacious morals suggest he comes from a solid and loving family.

I ask Kevin and Max what brought them to NY beyond just attending school:

Max: I just wanted to go to college and wanted to go to a city that had good skating. New York was the best option outside of Los Angeles.
James: that was my reasoning as well, I hadn’t been to new york to skateboard before I decided I was going to NYU but I liked watching the footage. [of skateboarding in NY]  I was deciding between New York and Berkley and I decided here.
Kevin: Imagine how much different you would have been if you went to Berkley? They don’t have a Jane in the Berkley.
Max: I almost went to Temple, To Philly! Cause I thought there was good skating there. I would have been fucking really bummed.
Kevin: plus its Philly, Philly sucks
James: My other choice was Cincinnati, for that reason too.
Max: Mine were LA, NY, or Chicago. There’s no birds in Chicago, if you’ve ever been? not like there is here
BL: so (Kevin) you lived her your whole life, you didn’t go to college?
Kevin: 2 years
BL: what happened over it?
Kevin yea I don’t like school.

My first real question is about their contact with the opposite sex before New York, before college. James dishes first, about losing his virginity the spring before coming to NYU. He claims to have been wearing a Supreme hat during the actual act. This sort or skater version of the hoodie dad brings home upon acceptance to your four year of choice. Except dad’s don’t bring home Supreme hats, so James probably bought it on E-bay or on a trip through New York as a teen. Purchased knowing how infinitely more prepared he’d feel his first day as a potential New Yorker in a Supreme Five Panel rather than an ill fitting grey and purple hoodie. I ask about that first year at NYU, and James tells me he had a girlfriend back home for most of the time. I suggest two terrified freshman holding onto each other through the phone? He insists the relationship was genuine and not some high school crush dragged out. I ask him about temptations during his first year:

James: None of the girls on my floor were attractive
BL: You weren’t into any of them?
James: Yea.
BL: You said you weren’t really intimidated by the girls in school?
James: I knew I was smarter than they were.
BL: But what about the pretty girls?
James: There weren’t that many.
BL: at NYU-not that many pretty girls?
James: Not that I knew until sophomore year.

Sophomore year happens to be when he started drinking socially and running with Kevin and his crew. I remember those days, these guys no longer confined to daylight hours. Drinking to-go margaritas outside Max Fish, not old enough to get in, but too old to stay away from Ludlow Street. I ask Max about growing up in LA, how he did with the ladies before he came to New York:

Max: In high school I had no problems with girls, but it was easy because, as big of a city as Los Angeles is, there’s a small social setting amongst a lot of wealthy upper upper class kids.
BL:  So your wealthy, you grew up with money?
Max: Yea, yea, I grew up with money yes. I went to a private school, where in that private school [system] there where three or four other private schools where everyone knew each other. Everyone, even in the 6Th and 7Th grade, everyone always had mansions with jacuzzis and parties and shit to go to. So even when we were kids, kids started doing drugs and sleeping together at a really young age. Like doing hard drugs and having sex by 8Th or 9Th grade.
BL: So you were experienced when you got here?
Max: Yea, and it was easy cause me and my friends were the token skateboarders. Girls at the private school we went to thought that was cool and all my friends were like, good looking, cool guys, so we didn’t have a problem pulling girls.

I finish with Kevin the native New yorker, hoping for some juicy stories of teen debauchery. When he starts talking I remember what he was like at 15, bright blue Nike Dunks and completely devoted to exalting all things P. Rod.

Kevin: I lost my virginity when I was 18. The summer, I think after I graduated. [High School] I lost it in California on vacation.
BL: To a chick that dug skaters?
Kevin: Yea this random chick from my parents town. It was pretty romantic. I lost it in Sausalito. The girls older sister was house sitting, this huge house, huge back yard, and I lost it under the Red Wood Trees, it was really amazing.
BL: You didn’t get crabs? A friend of mine did it in the woods and he got crabs.
Kevin: No, but I remember cause James started corresponding with her, and I was really nervous cause I had unprotected sex with her. And I asked James to ask her if she had AIDS, and he did!
BL: I’m a little older than you guys, being a young kid in the 80’s we were terrified of AIDS. Was that the same for you guys, losing your virginity? Cause now I’m not really scared..
Max: I’m not scared of AIDS I never have been. Only cause I don’t mess with needles or dudes. I’m not saying you can’t get aids from a girl, but I don’t sleep with girls where that would even remotely be an issue. I don’t think any of these white Jewish girls from fucking Beverly Hills have AIDS. Not saying those are the only girls I sleep with but I don’t picture any of these girls that we hang out with having AIDS.
BL: James, didn’t you get the clap from one of them?
James: I didn’t not! she told me I did, but I didn’t!
Kevin: I got the clap from one of them.
BL: you got the clap from a wealthy girl?
Kevin: I haven’t figured out which one it was from.

My introductory questions conclude and an overall tone is starting to develop. The guys are being funny and boisterous but candid and open at the same time. This is exactly what I was hoping for and has set the mood for the real reason I’m here; to talk to them about their ex girl friends. Just like me all these guys have had life altering relationships in their early twenties. I want to hear about being young and in love. Having a girl shift your entire world. I ask the guys to tell their stores…