I spend my days below 14th St. and generally above Canal. I’ve had girlfriends. I’ve been in love. I’ve had my heart ripped out and handed to me by numerous women. I’ve done my share of ripping too. These are stories of my New York.
A college kid e-mailed me for advice. I was going to ignore it, but, was like, Fuck it, lets see where this kids head is at. I replied to his e-mail right away with no intention of blogging our interaction. One of my good friends found it hilarious that anyone would ask me for advice and insisted I post the back and forth. So here it is in all its shoddily spell checked and pseudo proof read glory.
Dear Boyslife,
At a party I met this college girl who wasn’t the type I usually go for: black hair, thick rimmed glasses with this Christina Ricci-esque look about her. I snuck in a talk or two. She’s real fun to talk to, smart and witty. She mentions an ex-boyfriend. I assume single! She wanted to swap numbers and add me on Facebook. I added her the next day with a little message continuing a little playful argument we had about a movie. She accepted, but no answer.
Two weeks later, I hadn’t seen her again yet, and got drunk with mates at some house party. At home I composed a drunk Facebook message to her:
Odd thing: I saw some girl on the street today that I mistook for you, she got all angry. Maybe the butt pat was a bit too much anyway.
Which reminded me: It was nice meeting you- two weeks ago or something? I gotta be honest, maybe there was something about the mood or the air that night, but I was really intrigued by you, and really wanted to talk to you.
hopefully I’ll run into you again sometime.
One thing about my drunk Facebook/phone messages is that I can always get the spelling and grammar right- it’ll seem sober. But the butt pat thing was a joke, I think. Anyway: no answer.
The next time I see her it’s Halloween, on the street, and it’s a little odd. It was as if she was trying to hold back. (by the way, I suppose it’s important to mention that I’m not some creepy half attractive bastard, I’m a good-looking guy. it’s odd to say that, but whatever.)
Third time was this weekend, and she completely ignores me. She’s with a guy who I’ve seen in her with in FB pictures, I guess the old ex boy. I act the part, and just go on with my business.
What would you do to get rid of the shitty preschool awkwardness? I don’t necessarily want this girl (although it’d be nice. I have other options), I just want to be friendly. Her friends are my friends!
Cheers,
Vincent C
Boyslife replies on the way to skate:
Dear Vincent,
Being polite is the very best thing you can do. Say hello, kiss on the cheek, be friendly and nice. Don’t linger or seem interested in anything more than being friends. People are bad at this, especially young girls. They have a tendency to ignore you or act childish. Think about how cool it would have been if you had just rolled up on her at that (most recent) party, given a polite hello and been on you way. It’s best to have as few enemies as possible. You have to do this without admitting defeat. Act as if you never Facebooked her or called or whatever, like she is just another person you’ve met on your journey through New York…
OR, if you admit that you tried to get at her you just can’t seem defeated. A simple “Can’t blame a guy for trying,” said with a smile of ambivalence can be great too. Most of the time when the trail seems hot and suddenly goes cold there is another dude involved, probably someone in the picture before you. Then there is nothing you can do. Girls will get drunk and give you their number or chat and make out with you even when they have a boyfriend or are seeing someone. They might want to upgrade or are just having fun and a lot of the time they are just looking for attention.
Also I don’t know how old you are but if you sleep with someone and don’t call them back, if you see them, DO NOT HIDE! Walk right up, kiss on the cheek, give a polite “Hello, how are you?” There’s no need to make excuses or say anything about what happened, just be nice and polite. Nobody wants to be the girl who gets all mad because she feels dicked over, 19 out of 20 girls will suck it up and be nice back, the one scorned might toss a drink at you but if you stay polite she’ll come around eventually. Being the guy who mans up and says hi and is cool after a hook up is priceless…
Boyslife
Afterthoughts:
Women are strange and fickle creatures my friends. They can leave you breathless one night and not confirm your Facebook friend request the next. Text all day but refuse to meet you for coffee. Be carefree and boyfriend-less at 2 am, then crawl back into the arms of their man at 4. They will constantly baffle us. Good thing is:
And if I don’t have the answer, my crew is deep and down for the homies. It’s going to be a long winter but Boys Life has your back.
PS: Enlarge the photo of Sassy Magazine and read J. Mascis’s teen advice!
