Boys Life

30 blocks later and I’m inside the party. I feel that rush of the night. So many people, everyone is in good spirits. The music is good.  Jim Carrol Band, Rocky Horror, Johnny Cash.  I’m dancing and getting loose with friends.  I spot a girl looking at me from across the room.  She is tall, pretty and in about the same state of pseudo costume that I am. We exchange a few glances and go about our business. 

It’s fucking on!

Off the dance floor now, I’m chatting with another group of friends. We greet each other like Russians in a Hollywood movie. Big over exaggerated hugs and kisses. This is the Saturday night to end all Saturday nights. I’m high fiving a Wall Street Zombie when I see the girl coming. She passes directly in front of me. We lock eyes and I give a HEEEEY and introduce myself. She introduces back and adds that we already know each other. It does not take long for me to realize who it is. Its the career girl. She looks adorable in her pseudo costume. I’m playful and allude to her despising me. She doesn’t disagree but her eyes suggest an opposite truth. In a few seconds she is gone. 5-11, I don’t lose sight as she makes her way towards her friends.

I look around contemplating the task at hand. Am I really going to try and climb this hill right now? Do I really think I can repair this damage? She would not even confirm a Facebook friend request. Am I really going down this road? I look around again; zombies, geisha girls, Cleopatras, Frida Kahlos, and every variety of slutty. Its the wild west before the railroads. Buffalo. A sea of brown stretching to the horizon. There are other hunters but few as well equipped and focused. A giant grin creeps across my face. I gulp down the last of a Diet Coke and b-line across the room. I’d love a date more than anything right now. A nice dinner or a douchey lunch at Bar Piti. Someone my age to talk about things with. Important things: careers, failed romance, insecurity. Take the check when she goes for her wallet. Walk close afterwards fighting the November cold. Make out on a street corner; invite her up; she takes a rain check. All this is flashing through my mind as I push past a twenty something cholo and a decapitated Blues Brother. If I make out with her and score dinner plans I’ll be happy. Its not too much to ask. Its not August anymore and the company of an actual woman is suddenly exactly what I want.

Everything starts clicking. All the gears are locking into place. I’m apologizing and being funny. I’m dancing and having fun. I’m all smiles. Nothing is false. Trying to dig myself out of this hole is the most fun I’ve had in months. She is amazing. Pushing me away with words but keeping me close with her body. The DJ plays “It’s All About The Benjamins”. She knows nothing about rap. I’m dancing with her and she is totally awkward. It’s absolutely adorable. I suggest she’d probably prefer New Order. She admits I am right.

“I have a stick up my ass.” She’s teasing me, alluding to what I might think about her but admitting it’s relative truth at the same time. Adorable. Her eyes are bright and alive. Her left eyebrow keeps doing this intoxicating arch. As I complement her trademark facial expression the ice really feels like its thawing. More friends appear and suddenly she’s gone.

FUCK!

I’ve worked so hard. It’s probably the best half hour of flirting I’ve done in ages. I stuffed down so many douchey comments. I’ve hard wired myself to be obnoxious and taking this engine from 5th gear to idle has been an incredible challenge. Just obnoxious enough, you cant King Kong a girl like this she wont take it. She’s a successful beautiful woman why should she take shit from some guy with a skateboard and an inferiority complex? I wander around dance more with friends waiting for her to reappear. The gear shift has left me incapable of really doing anything else but talk to her. I like it. It Feels good to have a purpose be interested in someone and not just looking to fill some void. I avoid the she wolves and tarts and Pulp Fiction Uma Thurmans. I cant appear interested in anything other than her. Not even cant appear, tonight I’m just not. Finally she reappears, her coat on. I look at my phone, shes going early, early for a regular Saturday, and even earlier for Halloween. Do or die time. I put my arm around her and we talk. She’s a little drunk, just enough to not hate me anymore I hope.

“help me find my umbrella”

Yes! Little missions always bring people together. A common purpose, even as trivial as an umbrella, can be magical. I warn her it’s a lost cause. One little umbrella in sea of ghouls and creatures will never make itself known. She is intent and I oblige. I find it. But upon close inspection I’m wrong. She drops it where it was, looking up and across the room suddenly she spies her umbrella.  She’s ready to go home now, it really is do or die time. I stand tall and try to appear as secure and confident as passable. Like I have some knowledge about us that she doesn’t have. Knowledge that can only be transferred over dinner.

“what are you doing Monday?”

“Busy”

“Tuesday”

“Busy”

“Wednesday”

“Busy”

“Thursday”

“Busy”

“Friday?”

“No plans”

“let me take you to dinner”

She does not leave but she does not say yes. I do not beg or plead but I am persistent. We go back and forth for a wile.

“My friend told me about your blog I think its disgusting”

“So you read it?”

“No but i think its disgusting”

A little more back and forth. I suggest the scarcity of tall handsome men, she is after all 5-11. No dice. I wonder if simple manners are the only thing keeping her in front of me. I suggest that if she is really not interested she should leave and I won’t bother her.

“Ok, Goodnight”

She walks off across the dance floor towards the door as the DJ starts “Age of Consent.” Its really quite a moment. I start to make a lap around the party and realize I’m done. Not even 2 and for me it’s over.  She’s gone and nothing else seems to matter. The girl that throws herself at me a few moments later might as well be a leaf falling across my face on an October day. I brush her away and decide to go. New order is still playing. I walk towards the door and there she is. MAGICAL. Fucking Halloween!, I think to myself. I sit down and ask what she’s still doing here. Thinking in my mind how it must be me that kept her from the exit.