Boys Life

Anonymous asked: why does everyone think you're ted barrow?

Because he’s done a damn incredible job of convincing dip-shit girls that he’s the only sardonic, good looking, asshole to ever place a foot upon four wheels and a plank of wood.

Anonymous asked: How can I get my bf to lick my anus without having to literally ask?

Take a shower in his presence.

Begin heavy petting.

Insist on receiving oral from him while in the doggy style position.

Instruct him to lick higher, higher, higher, until satisfied.

Anonymous asked: whose better looking you or ted barrow?

I don’t know that there’s ever been a girl in the entire world that was ever at any point in her life into both of us. We’re on totally different ends of the spectrum when it comes to attracting women.

Anonymous asked: Got any good love-making session album recommendations? Moondance minus the song Moondance is a good one, but always good to mix things up.

Gross. 

Anonymous asked: i've seen you walkin around and you seem like a really shy, awkward guy

Sounds like my completely contrived, shy and quiet, dinner alone, not what you were expecting thing is working better than expected.

Anonymous asked: Do you go out to Times Square often?

Almost never. No one who lives in NY goes to Time Square, unless they are into the theater.

Anonymous asked: does your online persona match your real life personality?

I don’t really know. Probably, but maybe not.

Anonymous asked: Whats your flat rate for OKC consulting? Don't be shy about it. Name a price

Our 1000 dollar gold package includes two personalized work sessions, one at the beginning where we get to know you and craft your unique profile, and a follow up session where we smooth out any wrinkles and do all needed profile adjustments.

In addition to the private sessions you get four message consultations a week for the first month. We dont just give you stock answers, we work with you to craft introductory messages and replies that really allow you the individual to shine through.

In addition to the sessions and message consultations, you get one stratagy worksession. In this session we put your profile to the side and focus on navigating the OKCupid webiste. We discuss the personality questions, how often and when to update, and deciding which level of profile security is right for you.

Go ahead and invest in yourself, you’re worth it.

Anonymous asked: Im all about being myself and not taking OKC too serious, just curious what a good profile would look like to wrangle in as many of these good chemistry pretty faced 20 somethings.

The last online dating profile I over saw resulted in a successful relationship. If you want expert advice and profile consulting, it’s gonna cost you.

Anonymous asked: What's your take on dating sober chicks in AA?

Most of the really memorable, nasty, sloppy, kill me with it, blowjobs I’ve ever gotten were from chicks that were sober. They are always crazier than hell, and just generally psycho, but those girls can give some head.